What to do when people don't believe in you. [Archive] - The Melting Pot

FoggyMountain

07-08-2009, 05:17 PM

I am sure i am not the only one who has heard this before. A lot of people my whole glass blowing career have told me to get a real job and ask how i plan to survive just blowing glass. I started out blowing glass for 6 years at my parents house and two years ago left and have been completely depended on blowing glass to pay my rent and bills and put food on the table. However it seems that anytime i am at all financially burdened i have all these people i love telling me ' I told you so ' basically and it really sucks. I have looked at my income for the last 2 years and have seen my production and sales double if not tripple because i have been trying so hard to prove everyone that i can make it, but it seems that when the slightest bump in the road comes along then I get questioned for my choice of occupation. Normally it motivates me to work harder but lately it has been doing the opposite which is not very productive.

Those who can feel me on this one how do you deal with it? :bangHead:

byron3

07-08-2009, 05:42 PM

Hold your head up high and follow your dream. Other peeps will belittle you given the opportunity, some folks like to make themselves seem intelligent or whatever by belittling others. Stick to your guns, even the folks that have 9 to 5 jobs run into financial turmoil sometimes, especially in these economic times. What you are doing is working for you and as long as you can lay your head down at night and sleep is all that matters. Believe in yourself and your dreams for others will delight in taking your hopes and dreams away from you.

ps : Apologies if I sound a bit jaded, I am.............

Bo Diddles

07-08-2009, 05:45 PM

Tell them to suck it.
People have so many reasons to knock other people down - personal insecurity, jealousy, envy, etc. Who wouldn't be jealous of a professional glass blower? It's one of if not the coolest ways to make a living.
And you've pulled it off, on your own, for two years, even in this economy. As far as I'm concerned, you've already proven you can do this for a living.
The next time someone sends some negativity your way, ask yourself why. What are they really feeling, what is the reason for them to knock you down?
Remember this: only you know what you can do, not others. And even those who love you can be envious of your successes. It doesn't mean they're evil, just imperfect, like everybody else.

Kool

07-08-2009, 06:02 PM

When confronted with this type of situation, I generally just kill the person. That way I don't have to hear about it, and I get to blow off some steam at the same time. The only problem is all the time it takes to dispose of the bodies in a professional manner.....which leads to less torch time and less money, making it harder to eek out a living. So in reality, if I would have just ignored them, I would have been OK. Lesson learned.

Goldsmithy

07-08-2009, 06:12 PM

Take pride in your own accomplishments. You are developing a skill set that very few people will have. Take the time of our economy ( No one has any money right now) and you are surviving financially on your own. Be proud of that.

And remember my motto:

Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

...Smithy

Frankie Hess

07-08-2009, 06:19 PM

I've heard it all for sure, and still do from some family members. Of course, the only ones I hear it from are the people who have 9-5 jobs and have never taken a risk in there life, or if they did, they didn't tuff it out through the rough times to get to the gold. And are now back working for a pay check.

"You were born to win, but to be a winner you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win." ~ Zig Ziglar

It matters not what other people think, it only matters what thoughts you think.

Your thoughts create feelings, and feelings drive actions.

ONLY THINK GOOD THOUGHTS!

p.j.

07-08-2009, 06:22 PM

i tell them to fuck off... they are just jealous that they don't live their life on the edge

Emmett's Glass

07-08-2009, 06:31 PM

Ask them if they want to join you for a saftey break. Then stop and say 'oh yeah, you have random ua's to keep your job'. then laugh as you rip a big 1.
E

bzglass

07-08-2009, 06:42 PM

having an occuapation that pays anything is hard to come by these days!! The fact that you and many of us have skills that pay bills is pretty sweet in my opinion. And it is so rewarding and fun to boot!

Tell em you'd rather not wait in the unemployment line like tens of millions of Americans (not sayin that it's their fault), and that doing something you enjoy is reason enough to keep doin what you do!

ALIEN!

07-08-2009, 06:48 PM

Remind them that they are slaves to a pathetic system then tell them to go fuck themselves.

mer

07-08-2009, 07:03 PM

to most people a job is just a means to an end, they just work for the money. it's hard to expect them to understand that you're doing it because you feel a need to be passionate about the work that you do. in the end you really only have to answer to yourself. so like everybody here has already said, fuck em, but with a touch of sympathy. i'd much rather be happy and struggle for money than be rich and struggle for passion.

LifeGlass

07-08-2009, 07:06 PM

It's like somebody said once" they are straight up Hatin' on you B", for real they are. Do your thing, fuck them and tell them to worry bout themselves, its your dream, your world......yo do what you need and want to do.......not what they think you should do.

I learned the hard way that I should of always followed my dreams, and not someone elses, i.e. the parents......

LifeGlass

07-08-2009, 07:07 PM

i'd much rather be happy and struggle for money than be rich and struggle for passion.

Well put.

vetropod

07-08-2009, 07:09 PM

Believe in yourself, it doesn't matter whether others do or not. Once you start believing in yourself, then other will begin to as well.

boxfan willy

07-08-2009, 07:18 PM

It is not their job to believe in you. Ultimately, that is your burden to bear. Wear your glassblowing badge proudly. Sounds like you already deserve it.

Respect,

boxfan

p.s. Wes, well said.

richsantaclaus

07-08-2009, 08:02 PM

If you are making it and paying all your bills and are happy, what in the hell does it matter what anybody thinks?

FoggyMountain

07-08-2009, 08:03 PM

Very nice to hear the responses. It is an encouragement in itself to hear from others who have been in my situation.

Mostly it has been my mother and now my fiancee. Which makes it hard because i want to prove to her that i can be stable, so what she thinks is very important to me.

I try to compare myself to others who are doing worse in these harsh economic times and be happy about where i am at, but then i get compared to others doing better then me. And then i get accused of doing the bare minimum to get by a survive. I look at it as a blessing that i can take care of myself without the worry of getting fired or laid off, I enjoy being able to drive my own ship. I enjoy being able to pursue my dreams and passion. But when waters are rough it is my fault for sailing into them, according to others. And maybe it is, but i will never give up and I always give it my all, and it is just frustrating when it seems like my best just isn't good enough.

This is something i realize i will have to deal with until i can live up to everyone elses expectations. It just sucks because it can just be really hard sometimes, but then again how many people have it easy? Thanks everyone for helping me out.

ALIEN!

07-08-2009, 08:41 PM

But when waters are rough it is my fault for sailing into them, according to others.

I go stormchasing when possible, I prefer to be at the wheel in rough weather. Same applies to work, life, etc. Beats having a maniac stranger at the helm (Exxon Valdez) It really boils down to whether or not you believe in yourself. Taking people's crap and doing things their way is not believing in yourself. And as far as the old lady goes...well, are you John Lennon, or Todd Palin? I gave up welding forever because it was harmful to me (been laid up last 3 days because of weld-shop back injuries) Family cries wah wah wah, it'll never work wah wah. Then when I make a nice sale its ooooh blah blah blah can you make me this? My family is toxic to me and I just zone them out and maintain minimal contact with them and look forward to the day I can move back to the place I belong : 1000 miles away from them all. Keep in mind who you are, and life isnt made from money and fancy things, it has nothing to do with that. Sounds like those close to you may not be in tune with your view of life, the world, or morals.

murf

07-08-2009, 09:30 PM

good or bad where would you be with out those people that you love? "It is not their job to believe in you."

part of life to be honest, if it not someone from the out side tearing you down, its you from the inside doing the same. there is always self doubt, we're our own worst critics and personally after 29 years of being self representing in a bunch of mediums i wouldnt have it any other way.

I'm a family man, wife two children(adults) finishing college and its all serious stuff. my wife works and has been working in a dead end ho hmmm job for all 29 years just to take up the slack. now that is fucked up. she is however content. some think i cant even fathom but truly admire and respect

there are days , weeks , months when i feel like going back to the real world and earning a pay check, but my family wont have it. its my calling to be my own man , yad yad yad or so they see it.

sound like your still young? follow your dream cant see how that will hurt. keep the love ones around , the longer you keep after the dream the more excepting they will be come. its all good.

barefoot stash

07-08-2009, 10:00 PM

In order to make a living blowing glass you have to:

1. Have a skill set that takes years to master
2. Be able to run and maintain a manufacturing facility
3. Be able to effectively market yourself and your product
4. Be able maintain accurate books and pay taxes
5. Not go crazy doing all of the above.

I hate to break it to you...but you have five very real jobs. I hope you love what you do or else you might as well take the easy way out and get a normal 9-5. Next time they hassle you, call them a lazy ass for only having one job.

Jimi The Don

07-08-2009, 10:38 PM

i'd much rather be happy and struggle for money than be rich and struggle for passion.

bitchin'

Jimi The Don

07-08-2009, 10:42 PM

i carry polaroids of my johnson and hand them out with a big grin and a wink..

OpenFireGlass

07-08-2009, 11:58 PM

Ask them if they want to join you for a saftey break. Then stop and say 'oh yeah, you have random ua's to keep your job'. then laugh as you rip a big 1.
E

Best. Answer. Ever.

OpenFireGlass

07-09-2009, 12:11 AM

This was a good thread to read. I hope more people respond. I appreciate very much the perspectives.

I have the perspective of the woman in my glass artist's life who needs to believe in him. I really really do, but sometimes I falter for a moment. It's my weakness, not his. He totally has all that it takes to be successful. He's been making a good living off this for 15 years. I know he has mad skills and I am super proud of him. But society and its trickery can mess with your head if you listen for even a second. It's easy to doubt the career choice when all the books and manuals on the topic say being an artist is a secondary career.

Mike has proven to me time and again it is not a secondary career, it's a lifestyle. Even when I falter for an embarrassing moment, he never does. It's so impressive, and I strive to be like him in that regard, to be so passionate about something and be so driven to do whatever it takes to make it work.

No matter what, be sure of yourself. I really hope your fiancee comes around though. I believe that support from her will be invaluable to you, will be what gets you through the really tough spots. I think you should be with someone who encourages it. I hope your fiancee is just having momentary moments of weakness but ultimately believes in you.

Naomi

MUPH

07-09-2009, 05:04 AM

You will never make as much money as someone wants you to make, you'll never live up to everyones expectations. No matter how much money you make, you'll never have enough. It's difficult but try not to measure your success from what others think about your career. Chin up man, you're doing it. I really hope your financee comes around too, maybe have a honest talk with her about it? You've got all the support you need, you just need to look in the right places

somberbear

07-09-2009, 05:32 AM

I don't think its the avoidance of insanity in dealing with every thing. but learning how to live with it. and when possible enjoying it.

meh i have plenty of people that have supported me over the years. and plenty of the same people told me to get a real job.

frankly i work on in other jobs i just burn out in a year or two.... so is that really a good option?

Frankly. what most the time when there saying that there projecting there own insecuritys and frankly wanting to do what you do. grass is greener on the other side.

I perfer to be poor and do what i want then i wanna be rich and empty. when i was working on that "making lots of money" path i was sick all the time, aggitated , and frankly violent. my temper was very short.

the last guy who said i should pick up a real job lost his in a job lay off , Ha theres some job security.

you need to get your head right. and your money right. you need to save and build some cash in a bank or something , start making your money work for you too. even when times are good you should budget your income and put as much as you can saved away. also look into diversifying , when glass is slow i do metal work and repairs. its a rollercoaster baby and its not kind to people who dont try to prepare for the rough spots.

and frankly if your woman has issues with that, then ask her why she hooked up with you in the first place. you need support close to home. if she loves you for you, and not your cash.... then it should be a ok. if not road time.

but im single so take that how it is.

Arnold Howard

07-09-2009, 02:25 PM

Mostly it has been my mother and now my fiancee. Which makes it hard because i want to prove to her that i can be stable, so what she thinks is very important to me.

I imagine your mother and fiancee are only thinking of what is best for you. I had a printing business at age 19, and my mother didn't encourage me, either. But I knew that she was only concerned about my future, so the lack of support never bothered me.

Show them your financial numbers so they can see how your business is growing. Write a five year plan for your shop. Not only will that assure them that you are serious, but it may also help you to focus on a long-term direction.

Sincerely,

Arnold Howard
Paragon Industries, L.P., Mesquite, Texas USA
ahoward@paragonweb.com / www.paragonweb.com /
http://twitter.com/ParagonKilns

SteppingRazor

07-09-2009, 02:30 PM

I have a real job as a registered nurse. I work on a critical care floor, 12 hour shifts 7pm-7am, it is a very hard job. But it sure beats making prodo all day for half the wages and without the benefits I get as an RN. I might leave it some day, but my skills and training as an RN will always be there if I need to 'find a real job' again.
~joe c.

metalbone

07-09-2009, 03:06 PM

People that suggest that you get a real job are basically clueless, and are trying to force you to live by their values and priorities.

metalbone

07-09-2009, 03:21 PM

On second though, scratch my previous post, as those close to you probably just want what they THINK is best for you.

I like Arnolds suggestions, as they are positive, and will help you progress in your chosen line of work. You can probably assume that Arnold has helped build the company from meager beginnings. So set your goals, make a plan, then do it so that your mom and fiancee can be happy with your success.

I can't believe I just said that...I am going to go barf now...

FoggyMountain

07-09-2009, 10:24 PM

That is truly some good advice Arnold. I will start on that 5 year plan ASAP. I have been actually been trying to find time to show my past sales on a line graph starting from the first year i began blowing glass to today. It has definitely been a steady increase through out the years. I think a graphic representation of my efforts would be satisfying for myself as well as others concerned with my well being.

All of these responses are very encouraging keep them coming it is all very much appreciated.

CripSkillz

07-09-2009, 11:38 PM

Everything is fine as long as you stay single... thats a fact!!!

obscure_shadow

07-10-2009, 12:05 AM

Ask them if they want to join you for a saftey break. Then stop and say 'oh yeah, you have random ua's to keep your job'. then laugh as you rip a big 1.
E

couldn't have put it better myself...

909

07-11-2009, 07:19 PM

OpenFireGlass

07-11-2009, 09:51 PM

FoggyMountain

07-12-2009, 11:56 AM

What is the price one puts on freedom... it is natural for others to fear what they do not understand, and if they have never lived within their own passion you simply can not expect them to understand...

Very well said. Now i think about it, everyone who has doubted me in the past has been living and working their whole lives to survive and make ends meet and that just about it. So i guess i see how it is hard for them to understand. When i chose this line of work surviving and making ends meet seemed to be secondary to my pursuit of passion and happiness, partially because i was being supported by my parents for the most crucial parts of learning and i can't thank them enough. However now because of their help and support, I am proudly able to provide for myself as well as my loved ones and maintain a certain level of happiness in doing so. This I wouldn't trade for the world.

faded

07-12-2009, 12:12 PM

the more fun i have, the more people seem to hate me. =/

kbinkster

07-12-2009, 06:33 PM

I think that with your fiancée's mother... it probably would not matter what job you had, she would always compare you to someone else who is doing better. It is her attitude that is affecting your fiancée and feeding any insecurities/doubts/fears that she may have.

I think that if you put that five year plan together and sat down with your fiancée and explained to her that you do have a direction in life and you're not just adrift taking it as it comes, she'll be able to feel a little more secure about it all. Remind her that you are making it, you are not going under now and the future looks good. She probably needs to hear positive reassurance from you to counteract the negativity she is getting from her mother.

That all said... there are people who are just blue claw crabs.

DId you ever hear the story about the blue claw crabs? Well, here is my short version:

The was a girl walking along the docks watching the fishermen bring in their catches for the day. She noticed that most of the containers they used had lids on them, except for a few. She asked someone why those containers didn't have any lids and the answer was that they didn't need any, they held blue claw crabs. She asked, "Don't they ever try to climb out?" She was told, "Sure they do, but the others keep grabbing them and pulling them back down."

I think that story is helpful to keep in mind when someone approaches you with negativity, putting you down. It's also helpful to keep in mind so that you yourself don't ever become a blue claw crab.