snuck out without saying goodbye

[STROKER]

i just wanted to say that i am sorry i did not get to formally say my goodbyes to most of the new friends i made this past week at agi.
i am not in the mood to go into details at the moment but i had an emergency situation back home that demanded i leave a.s.a.p.
i missed the big party saturday and didnt get a chance to get alot of contact info i was in need of. i guess murphy wasnt quite done with me yet.

i dont want you guys to think i am a dickhead and just left without saying goodbye. i am a dickhead maybe but i truly had the time of my life and it was you great people that gave me a chance to become part of an event that is like no other. i am eternally greatful to all, especially tom and elaine.
(damn they are the nicest peeps i have ever met)

my head is a little fucked up from lifes battles lately so i dont think i will be doing much posting for a while. once again, please dont take it as rude. i just dont want to put my negative vibes out there at the moment. (i will explain later).

there is a very long list of blowers that i am very thankful to have met finally and i promise i will be looking alot of you up in the near future to follow up on converstaions we had at agi.

tree, i wanted to say thanks again to you for being so cool and letting me use your cannon at the event. what a fuckin torch. badassss.

i have a ton of pics too that i will try and get up in the next few weeks. i am gonna be out of my shop for another week . then i have to regroup and get my ass back to work.

i am going to use my anger and sadness to harness my energies and make a body of work like i have never attempted before.
i feel like life is fucking short and i must, (absolutely must) make a mark on this world with my art forms.

one thing is for sure you cant do anything in the shop when you are dead.

i may not be around for a while, but when i come back i think i will knock everyone back a few steps with my newest body of work.

so to recap: i love you guys and i feel honored to have spent a week with you all and getting to know you in person.

AGI IS THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD! (FUCK THAT I DONT NEED NO STINKIN BREAD, I DO HOWEVER NEED AGI FROM NOW ON)

later all,

[hashmasta-kut]

best of luck hang in there, stiff upper lip and all that :)

[glassdocnc]

I hope your luck turns around Jay. (hugs)

[lil'roller]

Stroker .... Wow .. Hope every thing turned out ok for you & all will be back to a normal for you & yours. Bless you so that you can fulfill you path in life .

[J Howard]

hang in there bro.. sure was nice to finally meet you.


Jay's got serious talent, and has been getting into shows i can only dream of getting into (and have been applying to for years) with his wood. i can't wait to see what your glass becomes as your skills match your ideas. so many people get stuck in having a massive collection of techniques only to fail at their content. may your current situations turn out for the best and inspire you to that new level.

[Greymatter Glass]

I cried a little bit when I saw you'd left early.... but then I stopped.

Hope all works out man, was great to meet you and see some of your work.

[jane clifton]

hang in there man and can't wait to see what kind of lemonade you make!!

[CripSkillz]

ya man was wonderin what happened to ya,, take it easy hope alll gets well

[Icarus]

Man Jay, you get all the curveballs these days, don't ya?

Keep your head up man. Know that a lot of people think nothing but good thoughts about you man. I would include myself in that club (and hoping and praying I can make it to AGI next year so I can meet all of you kids).

[STROKER]

you guys are such a nice bunch. i really cant say in words how comforting it is to have a community that stands behind you and helps you feel strong again. especially in times like this.

thanks to you all from the bottom of my heart.

im not going into lengthy details but on friday night at agi a very good and old buddy of mine went into the hospital with a massive stroke after dealing with a major heart attack and bypass surgery a few weeks prior.
we all thought he was out of the woods with the real issues after the bypass but the stroke was so bad that is led to massive follow up attacks which his body just couldnt take.
i never got out of penn. that saturday night before i got the call with the ultimate bad news.
after that i sat in my room and drank/smoke/and cried for the remainder of the evening.
we put the body in the ground wedensday and honsetly it all has not registered yet.
i have lost 3 friends and my entire crew of animals(i had 5 of them all 15-20 years) in the last two years.
death is something that is never accepted as easy but i will say you do get a bit numb to it after being subjected to so much of it.

two choices; deal with it or let it consume you!

the eternal cycle of life and death had always went over my head as i hadnt really dealt with it first hand.
at age 42 i feel i have seen and done alot. for that i feel lucky and i am here to tell you from now on everyday will be one that i try a little harder to make my mark on this world. a positive mark for all to remember me by when i am gone.

i said it in a thread just before agi when i found out about another friend that suddenly died, but damn it peeps if there is anyone you need to say something to. say it today.
tommorrow may truly be too late............

lastly, alot of you expressed your concerns privately and i am so thankful but i will be alright. i just need to adjust to a few things.
my friends would be mad as hell if they knew i was just sulking so i am trying to use my energy in a completely different way.

other than this thread i am gonna try real hard to not talk about it and i appreciate your help with this matter.
i must, absolutely must concentrate on the pos or life will get the better of us me.

once again, thanks for being such a great group of caring people.

later,
__________________