Glass Haiku! Glass Jokes! Hey Slackers, make me a sammich!

[PyroChixRock]

Check this out!

I hope you were able to make it to the party! There are still a couple games going on for the ones who couldn't make it. Here's the party thread! (http://www.talkglass.com/forum/showthread.php?51923-Live-13th-Birthday-Party!-Come-on-in!!)



Glass Haiku (http://www.talkglass.com/forum/showthread.php?51923-Live-13th-Birthday-Party!-Come-on-in!!&p=759686#post759686) - we had so many great entries we can't pick just one winner! We're adding another prize and some time for the second place winner to be chosen. :)

First place haiku winner!


the tiny punty
how much longer must endure
sacrifice I must


Woot! You were the first place vote from everyone voting! Congrats and thanks for enlightening us. :D PM me addy!




Glass haiku (http://www.talkglass.com/forum/showthread.php?51923-Live-13th-Birthday-Party!-Come-on-in!!&p=759686#post759686) will now end saturday night! There will be another winner chosen who will receive this gorgeous dish and dabber set made and donated by Refresh/Themoch !

54429




Glass jokes! (http://www.talkglass.com/forum/showthread.php?51923-Live-13th-Birthday-Party!-Come-on-in!!&p=759776#post759776) We did not laugh hard enough! :wes: This game is now extended until saturday night also! Both winners (or all winners if we laugh really, really hard :devilish:) will be picked Saturday night. :)

54430

54431





Hey slackers, make me a sammich! (http://www.talkglass.com/forum/showthread.php?51923-Live-13th-Birthday-Party!-Come-on-in!!&p=760152#post760152) You have a week to enter this contest! You can only enter once so take your time and make it count! (if you already posted an entry and want it edited after the timer runs out, just hit me up! ;) ) Entries need to be in before midnight pst Friday the 4th to be eligible! We will vote and announce a winner on Saturday the 5th.

54432



Entries can be posted in this thread or the birthday thread! Good luck everyone! :D

[PyroChixRock]

Sorry my spacing is being weird. In case it's not clear, the Refresh dish and dabber is the prize for glass haiku, the Simian pendants are the prizes for glass jokes (two winners!) and the studio time at Cornerstone is the prize for Hey slackers, make me a sammich.


Glass jokes and glass haiku ends tonight! Slackers ends next Saturday.

[PyroChixRock]

No more entries??

[MrNiceGuy]

I'm not good at Haiku's, but I'm all over that sammich challenge


Gather starts to droop
skin is starting to sizzle
I love glassblowing

[PyroChixRock]

Cool! We could use more glass jokes entries too. One of your other jokes has a couple votes ;)

If its slow causes its Sunday we can give it more time? It's hard to guess how to go about these things lol

[MrNiceGuy]

Q: What do you call someone who uses glass sex toys?
A: A glassturbator.

[MrNiceGuy]

Q: Why did the flameworker stop drinking?
A: Everything was always spinning.

[MrNiceGuy]

Q: What happens when you stick Boro in a gloryhole?
A: The gloryhole kicks the softglass out of the shop. :wink2:


This isn't easy lol.

[pipeshawk]

Where did you learn that?
Learned all that from the pot, man!
read some shit sometime!

[MrNiceGuy]

A vortex marble
Is it propelling me out?
or sucking me in?

[PyroChixRock]

Now we're talking! :D

[MrNiceGuy]

It glows so brightly
Glow dims, colors come alive
Cannot touch it yet

[willy47]

What happen to the glassblower who was to drunk to work?


-nothing his badass and still torched

:chilling:

[MrNiceGuy]

we're torching glass rods
implosion impunity
Sandwiches ease pain

[MrNiceGuy]

Q:Why do older women make better flameworkers?

A: They're used to the hot flashes.

[MrNiceGuy]

Q: Why did the glassblower get insurace on his kiln?

A: Because he was crashing it twice a day.

[MrNiceGuy]

Infinity switch
Corkscrew heating element
Crash kiln cross fingers

[PyroChixRock]

Cool! Giving the games a lil more time for Sunday slowness.

[rez cash]

i probably stole this from someone on here but ...

How do you make a small fortune blowing glass?
Start with a big one.

[willy47]

If your working on a pipe

And you feel something slide

Diarrhea chachacha
Diarrhea chachacha

[willy47]

Do you double blow your pipes?

-yes all the time

What's the process?

- I have my girl waiting under the bench and I tell her when I'm ready

[JimmyB]

"I met Dale Chihuly today, #1 glassblower in the world, Hes got an eye patch, how good can you be if you can't blow a decent glass eye" -Kirk Fox

[PyroChixRock]

Now we're starting to laugh. Nice :D

[KLAW]

Removed!!!! Bad Link...

[MrNiceGuy]

I used this one site: http://www.howmanysyllables.com/

I dont know which website is right, but this one says "the" and "my" are one syllable each. '
I'm also not an english major, but I think that all words have syllables:

syl·la·ble
ˈsiləbəl/Submit
noun
1.
a unit of pronunciation having one vowel sound, with or without surrounding consonants, forming the whole or a part of a word; e.g., there are two syllables in water and three in inferno .


That should mean that words like "I" or "Me" have one syllable, but i'm not sure about words like "nth"
Like I said, I'm REALLY not an english major :crazy:

The only winner so far used those words for his syllable count though, so I'm not sure if they're being huge sticklers.

Winner:

the tiny punty
how much longer must endure
sacrifice I must

[KLAW]

Great...Figures...Yeah I Saw That About The Winner Too But Didn't Want To Mention It(Not Even Thinking other sites might be different)...It Would Just Be Easier For Everyone to Just Use A Calc That Leaves "The" & "Me" In Them If They Do...Especially For The Admin Who Might Get A Ton Of Change Requests. Who Knows If My Link Was Good(Seems To Basic Anyways)...Well I Just Changed & Sent My All My New Ones In Revised Off That WordCalc Site...So Either Way Im Out... I Officially Hate Haikus And Am Done...Good Luck Everyone...Peace

[MrNiceGuy]

haha

You're just keeping everyone on their game. LOVE it.

[KLAW]

Another save by the Bat Stache!!!

[KLAW]

Here's A Counter That Counts Them(I Think...Hopefully) But Either Way Its A "Haiku Counter" On A "Syllable Counter" Site...Im Not Saying To Use It(Just Saying Is What Its Is) :) ...Hope It Helps Someone....http://www.poetrysoup.com/haiku_syllable_counter/

[Simian]

Why do most people think glassblowers are perverts?
We always have a rod.

[Simian]

How do you tell is a glass blower's bald dog is happy?

They wig wag.

[MrNiceGuy]

stacking dots briskly
spinning rod furiously
now wait patiently

[ALIEN!]

I never liked haikus
never got the point of them
mudflaps.

why do football fans always pick on glassblowers?
They keep saying punty.

How do you give a glassblower a hard on?
Nobody knows, they never walk away from their work long enough.

What does a hot shop and Funksizzle's favorite gay bar have in common?
The glory hole.

Why can't penguins blow glass?
Cuz they dont have opposable thumbs you fucking idiot! Fuck you're stupid!

What's black and white and red all over?
That latticino I jammed in my finger.

Why did the glassblower cross the road.
To get the fuck away from Alpine Valley security!

What do you get when Misha hires you to work in her shop?
A blowjob!

:yay2

[PyroChixRock]

Game extensions! All 3 of these games are now ending Saturday night. :D

[PyroChixRock]

:D

[MrNiceGuy]

Sh!t shower and shave
That's the way I start my day
Burn fingers at night

[ALIEN!]

tits, ass, glass and beer
yo fools, work hard, play harder
no money for food

[dislexei]

http://2broadsabroad.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/img_2157.jpg
pork roll egg and cheese with salt, pepper, ketchup, and hot sauce.

So good WEEN made a song about it!
http://youtu.be/dQdmKVkWbGU


http://youtu.be/dQdmKVkWbGU

Also not my picture but I'll make one later after going to the store. I'd say whats up to Jaime Burress and visit the Glass school to see whats happening. I'd definitely make a trip to visit Sheepdawg and Clinton while I'm around also. Then spend a day or two on the coast kickin it.

I'll make everyone that lets me stay on a couch Pork roll eggs n cheeses for breakfast.

[LowTideGlass]

Don't forget the kaiser bun.

[dislexei]

:kitchen: Post up a lobster roll?

[MrNiceGuy]

This is the stunningly delicious $7 soft shell crab sammich from Papa's Soul Food Kitchen which is ~150 yards from Cornerstones front door.

This is the sandwich in question
http://imageshack.us/a/img20/1448/kh74.jpg

Here is my beautiful server presenting me with the noms.
http://imageshack.us/a/img542/4108/4e9e.jpg

Here we are making a stop at Cornerstone!
http://imageshack.us/a/img24/2560/m2kf.jpg

And here we are on the bench, ready to eat!
I added the Boro olive and pimento skewer. :D
http://imageshack.us/a/img9/7926/lj76.jpg

For good measure with a few recent pieces.
http://imageshack.us/a/img24/5573/7lkn.jpg

The recipe comes from Papa himself, the late Ted Lee. An amazing musical artist, his talent with musical instruments was only eclipsed by his talents in the kitchen.
Here's Ted, singing with the late Brad Nowell (Lead singer of Sublime) in their band.
http://imageshack.us/a/img209/73/gs0c.jpg
It's amazing on many levels, but it also has the added appeal of being the sandwich I'd be eating during breaks from the torch at Cornerstone.


The other games were fun and the prizes are REALLY cool, but this prize would be a game changer for me. And, while i'd LOVE to win any of the amazing peices that were donated, my real goal is to learn to make these things myself. Currently, My stuff is set up at a very good friends shop who has been tremendously helpful and supportive. Unfortunately, our schedules conflict and I'm lucky to get 5 hours a week on my torch. I am planning to move solely for the purpose of setting up my own home shop, but that is still a little ways away. If I were to win this, I would be getting more torch time in one day than I currently get in a week. As well as giving me MUCH more time to improve, it would allow me to network with more people in the community and help to cement a future in this amazing artistic medium.

I'd be taking full advantage of the 24/7 shop access and use every second to improve and learn.
Time is precious and irreplaceable. Winning this would give me the time behind the torch I need to grow.
It truly has the possibility to be a life changing event.

Also, I'd have an open invite to anyone from this incredible forum who's down to show me some tips or techniques.

[PyroChixRock]

only a few more hours to enter these games!

[KLAW]

http://www.lemonythyme.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Parmesan-Pesto-Grilled-Tomato-Ham-Cheese4-1024x796.jpg
Here is a picture of my favorite sammiche! Its A Parmesan&Pesto Honey Ham & Baby Mozzarela Grilled Sandwich...I Would Eat Them Everyday if I Could!!! (not my picture but one from the site i got my recipe from(that i tweak by adding an Aiolie Sauce onto...started making these when Safeway stopped selling the Basil Pesto Bread that i originally would make a version of this sandwich with there for nice and cheap for the quality...the safeway one i mentioned in my recipe thead post)


Going to Cornerstone for a week would have to be the best thing probably to ever happen to me if chosen. Maybe if i dont count finding The Melting Pot that is...I've never had anyone to learn from in person, so the opportunity to go to a place like Cornerstone would help expose me to not only people to finally learn from in person but perhaps some of the professional glass blowers that i have looked up to since the very first day that i bought my first piece of functional glass art.

Perhaps even be able to meet some of my top five artists ive admired for their various skills...Robert Mickelson for his beautiful sculptural work...John Kobuki the king of compression marbles... The "Bob Father" :) Bob Snodgrasss for his fuming and all around being a legend in the start of what has become the glass movement i love to this very day... Eusheen for his absolutely amazing Multiple Sections & Line Work...and cant forget Jason Lee, I have admired his Double Layered Line Work for as long as i cant remember...

Being able to attend Cornerstone will definitely provide me with a broader spectrum of experiences with the Glass Community that i want so much to be a part of. My biggest hope is it might even give me an opportunity to make a living out of what i love to do in life, so that i can enjoy the art i love as much as possible. I have an illness that prevents me from being able to work any normal job with set hours, so being able to go to Cornerstone and get the chance to gain the skills that might allow me to start a career that i can do from my home at the hours my body lets me would change my life immensely. I've learned so much from this community & online...and am eternally grateful, but there is just so much i can learn through a computer...I cant afford to get there on my own because i invested the last of my life savings in glass to try and start a career in torch flameworking because i love it so much and its the only thing i can see myself ever doing, so i'm definitely committed!

If given this opportunity I would put everything i learn to use to its full potential...It has the chance to help me meet the people i need to meet and learn the skills i need to learn, in order to hopefully become a real flameworker and produce the type of art that i want so badly to learn how to make. I have never been to Eugene to visit with the glass scene up there and it would be a life changing event for me to experience it and maybe meet,or perhaps even learn from some of the people i have looked up to ever since i started working with glass...and also meet some of the online community i have become such good friends with here on TMP that are in that holy glass mecha that i have yet to see.:) Which would make me eternally grateful to you here on TMP & to the people at Cornerstone...Actually I'm already eternally grateful to you guys, this community and to all the help and the support i have received here at the melting pot thus far anyways. Then there is the help of all the staff that does so much for me and everyone else that truly makes this place an online Family...I will never forget my experience here either way, if i can make a career in this or not. Well to just about sum it up...You would be giving someone a chance to maybe make it in the field of Arts he truly loves, that would otherwise most likely never get that chance...Either Way Thank You So Much!! I Cant Express My Appreciation For This Community And The Opportunities It Has Provided To Me Already...

I Love All You Guys!!! ~Kris

Also...Bet You Didn't Know I Was Literally Inside The Worlds Biggest Sandwich Blowing Glass While It Was Being Made!! :)
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-d8kG51W6dCA/UkfeQScr90I/AAAAAAAAAWM/Vl0TR-oqIu4/w410-h269-no/sandwich.jpg

[PyroChixRock]

And the winners are!!


Glass Jokes!


54678

Congrats, Chachie! You get first pick at the Simian pendants in the top post! If you see this before my PM, let me know which one you choose!


i probably stole this from someone on here but ...

How do you make a small fortune blowing glass?
Start with a big one.

Congrats, rez cash! You win one of the Simian pendants!




Glass Haiku!

M.P. I Love Thee...
What Would I Do Without You...
Your Knowledge Helps All...

Congrats, Klaw! A lovely dish and dabber set made by Refresh is coming your way!


Hey Slackers, make me a sammich!!

This is the stunningly delicious $7 soft shell crab sammich from Papa's Soul Food Kitchen which is ~150 yards from Cornerstones front door.

This is the sandwich in question
http://imageshack.us/a/img20/1448/kh74.jpg

Here is my beautiful server presenting me with the noms.
http://imageshack.us/a/img542/4108/4e9e.jpg

Here we are making a stop at Cornerstone!
http://imageshack.us/a/img24/2560/m2kf.jpg

And here we are on the bench, ready to eat!
I added the Boro olive and pimento skewer. :D
http://imageshack.us/a/img9/7926/lj76.jpg

For good measure with a few recent pieces.
http://imageshack.us/a/img24/5573/7lkn.jpg

The recipe comes from Papa himself, the late Ted Lee. An amazing musical artist, his talent with musical instruments was only eclipsed by his talents in the kitchen.
Here's Ted, singing with the late Brad Nowell (Lead singer of Sublime) in their band.
http://imageshack.us/a/img209/73/gs0c.jpg
It's amazing on many levels, but it also has the added appeal of being the sandwich I'd be eating during breaks from the torch at Cornerstone.


The other games were fun and the prizes are REALLY cool, but this prize would be a game changer for me. And, while i'd LOVE to win any of the amazing peices that were donated, my real goal is to learn to make these things myself. Currently, My stuff is set up at a very good friends shop who has been tremendously helpful and supportive. Unfortunately, our schedules conflict and I'm lucky to get 5 hours a week on my torch. I am planning to move solely for the purpose of setting up my own home shop, but that is still a little ways away. If I were to win this, I would be getting more torch time in one day than I currently get in a week. As well as giving me MUCH more time to improve, it would allow me to network with more people in the community and help to cement a future in this amazing artistic medium.

I'd be taking full advantage of the 24/7 shop access and use every second to improve and learn.
Time is precious and irreplaceable. Winning this would give me the time behind the torch I need to grow.
It truly has the possibility to be a life changing event.

Also, I'd have an open invite to anyone from this incredible forum who's down to show me some tips or techniques.


Congrats, MrNiceguy! That's quite a sammich! You get to spend a week at Cornerstone!



Thanks again everyone for playing and for the awesome donations that made all this fun possible! I look forward to playing again next year! :D

[Simian]

Very cool! Congrats everyone.

[MrNiceGuy]

Omfg
This is amazing!
I'm on my phone so I can't post a proper thank you yet, but, thank you tmp and cornerstone!!!

[KLAW]

AND THE BAT STACHE STRIKES AGAIN!!! Congrats Brotha!! Enjoy It!!!

Thanks Misha...Ive Had A Ton of Fun With All The B-Day Celebrations!!! Can't Wait For 14!!!

And Thanks Refresh For The Dab & Dish!!! Don't Dab At The Moment But Maybe Ill Use It As An Excuse To Make A Batch of Honey Here Soon!!!& Its Always Awesome To Add Another Artists Piece To The Collection!!

See Everyone Next Year!!!