Glass Jokes! Ends 12/31/15

[PyroChixRock]

Glass Jokes!!

Tell us a joke about glass, glass blowers or glassblowing! You may enter this game as many times as you'd like, but please only one entry per post! This game will also run for an extended amount of time. You have until 12/31/15 to enter.

This game is so hard to pick only one winner for, so there will be 3 winners! Each will receive a $50 gift certificate towards cases of us33 glass at http://www.eu-glass.com! Thanks, EU Glass!


EU Glass Inc. is an importer and wholesaler of high quality 33 expansion borosilicate glass products ranging from Schott BORO ARTISTIC®, SCHOTT DURAN®, SCHOTT CONTURAX®, Lenz Laborglass, Glassco Labs, Glass Alchemy, Trautman Art Glass, Dichroic Alchemy, The Ti Pen, West County Millefiori, Marble Molds by Mike Close and Griffin Glass tools.

Our borosilicate tubing and rod, as well as, the industry's leading glass on glass ground joint fittings are all using glass made in Germany by the globally renowned company, Schott.

The glass ground joints we carry are manufactured exclusively for us by Lenz Laborglas using Schott DURAN®. Our bushing adaptors are produced by the absolute best glass manufacturer in India, Glassco Labs.

We are constantly bringing exciting materials to the Artistic Glassblowing Communities and Scientific Lampworking Markets to insure the best products are available for everyone.

EU Glass Inc. offers a reliable source for supply & production needs small to large in North America & beyond.


80444



Thank you again, EU Glass! You ROCK!! :blowkiss:

Winner will be announced by 1/2/15 so keep the jokes coming. :D

[PyroChixRock]

Joke entries from the live birthday party:




Q-tip tech


How do you hide money from a glassblower? Put it under the soap!




how do glass blowers spend there money?

what money?


Did you hear about the glass blower who accidentally inhaled? He ended up with a pane in his stomach!


Gonna have to go with the oldest one in the book, mainly cause I can't think of anything. lol.

What is the difference between a glassblower and a large pizza?

Large pizza can feed a family of four.


how do you starve a glassblower.... give them a full tank of liquid and propane


what does a glassblower have in common with a guy in a room with three hookers?

in both instances, something is probably getting triple blown.


"....your one and a half inch glass pickle is ready!! It sparkles and glows really bright!!" True Story...


You know the difference between a glass artist and a mutual fund, right? Eventually a mutual fund matures and makes money.


How do you make 1 million dollars blowing glass?
Start with 2


why doesn't the glassblower worry about you stealing his gurlfriend?
he doesn't have one.


Its considered a joke to mix soft glass into the noobs bench.

I can tell instantly , but some can't.

Thanks Gray matter. Super funny to watch..


what did the glassblower give his children for christmas?
disappointment.


what the difference's between a noob and a master about "tree fiddy"


What is it called when Salt and Buck hangout together?

Jerky


"Just put it to your mouth and blow."

"Oooh, it's really hard," she said.

"You're doing well," I assured her.

"It's getting bigger," she panted.

"That's great," I said, "now keep going."

"Daddy I'm so hot," she breathlessly said.

"Don't stop, keep going, keep going," I said, excitedly, "that's good."

"Am I better than mummy?" she asked.

"Of course you are darling, when she tried glass blowing she was bloody useless."

Courtesy of Sickipedia.org: http://www.sickipedia.org/sex-and-shit/sexual-innuendo/i-said-to-my-daughter-just-put-it-to-your-891758#ixzz3upW8sTEf


how did the glassblower respond when asked how he gets the colour in there?
"you start with just the tip and then one thing leads to another.."


what does a glassblower have in common with a nerd in high school?
both just sat at home on a saturday night staring at a computer.


why doesn't the glassblower ever get laid?
gurls don't wanna fuck someone with no money who lives in his parents basement.


Why does Santa Claus have bigger balls than a glassblower.......??? Because, he only comes once a year. :rollin


why didn't the glassblower pay his rent on thyme?
cuz he doesn't make any money.


what does the glassblower have in common with me?
we both just sharted a little.


What does an asleep hooker and this forum thread have in common? Right now nothing is getting blown!!!

Sent from my PLT7649G using Tapatalk


What's red and orange and looks good on glassblowers?

Fire.

Re-purposed but I liked it better this way.


Joke- I said I wanna learn how to blow glass, but after all these years all I've blown is my money , my time and chance of good credit!

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Why did the glassblower cross the road??? -Because he had his dick stuck in a chicken.

[JANKYglass]

This pipe by my apprentice Sancho with what's supposed to be a shark is a fucking joke

[MoR_Glass]

whats a glass blower matto

glass and ass

[Simian]

What did one line say to the other? Wanna get laid?

[mattholimeau]

Maybe that pipe shouldn't be considered a joke, but rather, a lesson. You can see what he was trying to do.

[PyroChixRock]

Maybe that pipe shouldn't be considered a joke, but rather, a lesson. You can see what he was trying to do.

But you see, we have to fuck with Sancho. You too, should fuck with Sancho. He loves it, I promise haha.

[mattholimeau]

Ah, in that case, dammit sancho, that's one nasty bloody tampon on that pipe.

(Too much? Hahahahahah.)

[PyroChixRock]

Poor sancho. *pokes Sancho with a stick* :poke: :lol

[slaughter]

What happens when you tell people you blow glass?

They ask who's glass and whats his last name.

[Joe Userton]

Sale! : A Haiku

A free shipping sale!
I'll just get that one little thing...
There goes two hundred dollars.

[Borobot]

Whats the difference between Dale Chihuly and a Humpback Whale?

The eye patch and Hawaiian shirt.

:o:

[Jimi The Don]

What do flat brimmed hats and blowing glass have in common?
Neither one makes you as kewl as you think they do.

[Wilbur]

Whats the difference between a rock star and a glass blower?

A rockstar doesnt walk around acting like a glass blower all day.

[Jimi The Don]

^^awesome

[Jimi The Don]

What's the difference between a glassblower and Mia Khalifa?

I didn't just ejaculate to a video of a glassblower.

[kittypooh5]

What do illuminati glass and a penny have in common?
10,000 pennies = 1 lb illuminati glass

[chicharrone]

My mom called me and asked what I'm doing . I told her this rod is getting ready to get butt sealed , she told me she didn't need to hear that then I said mom were talking about glass not ass here .

[KyroGlass]

I told my parents I was going to to start lampworking. They said I'd be blowing it.

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[kittypooh5]

Oh where oh where can my baby be?
The fall took glass away from me.
I chase the marble on the floor to try save it
The marble's cracked in half so it will never be done.

[Bo Diddles]

There once was a blower from Nantucket
Who worked on a piece till he said fuckit
The cracks did spread
Till the piece was dead
So he laid it to rest in the bucket

[PyroChixRock]

Tomorrow is the last day to enter ;)

[PyroChixRock]

last day!

[kittypooh5]

If you think oxy or propane is too expensive
You can always go old school like our ancient lampworker forebearers did.They had oil lamps and blew air through a pipe at the flame.
Hyperventilation included free of charge !

[kittypooh5]

Help me EU Glass, you are my only hope!:blowkiss:

-Princess Leia

[PyroChixRock]

And the winners are...


There once was a blower from Nantucket
Who worked on a piece till he said fuckit
The cracks did spread
Till the piece was dead
So he laid it to rest in the bucket



Joke- I said I wanna learn how to blow glass, but after all these years all I've blown is my money , my time and chance of good credit!




how do you starve a glassblower.... give them a full tank of liquid and propane

Please PM me your address. Congrats!! :D


A huge thank you again to EU Glass for their awesome donation. :clap:

[JayBoogie]

What to make today
Hey this is looking awesome!
God fucking damnit

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[JayBoogie]

Wrong thread sorry!!

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[kittypooh5]

congrats on the winners, you guys came up with some fab jokes and totally deserved your handsome reward!!

Bo Diddles, props for writing a freaking limerick!!! Smooth rhymes in your poem.

[hglasswell]

Woot!!


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[Bo Diddles]

Right on! Thanks EU!